Sticking around for a bit

Just got back from the liver surgeon’s consult this afternoon and got the low-down on what the future holds for me: basically, after getting a better look at the tumors in the liver with the recent MRI scan, he’s concluded that while I’ve shown great progress in the past 7 months, there’s just too many small tumors interspersed in my liver on both halves to consider operating right now. I started treatment with more tumor than liver: I now have substantially more liver than tumor. Going into surgery takes out a lot of tumors, sure – but it also takes out a LOT of healthy, functional liver tissue as well. Not to mention the substantial risk of liver failure, if they happen to take too much liver out and I can’t survive.

Other than surgery, what options are there for me? well, there’s 2 (3, really): either travel up to Sloan-Kettering in NYC to get a pump implanted within my system to deliver chemo directly to the liver, or stay here and get an IR embolization in a couple of weeks. And then probably more chemo after that.

The third option, is, of course, do nothing and see what nature has in store for me.

While I’m confident in battling this crap by myself, I also stand behind the progress I’ve made already with the help of modern medicine. And since the pump procedure done in NYC isn’t known to be totally effective, the only real option that makes sense is to get the embolization done here.

Since surgery is off the table I’ve been told I’m going to have to live with this cancer for the foreseeable future, if we can’t get it cleared up within the liver to at least a point where either half goes cancer-free and we can get rid of the rest of it via surgery. The colon is no longer an issue, as long as my symptoms don’t come back. So no colostomy bag for me — which, along with the relief of not going under the knife, is a welcome outcome.

I feel great (being off of chemo for a month will do that to you). Because of my friends and family, I’m still positive and mentally strong. While I need to get settled with the prospect of having to live with cancer for a while, I am reminded that it’s something I’ve been living with for unknown weeks before I even knew I had it. If anything, this meeting reinforced the fact that I’m on a journey here, and it’s far from over; and I need to settle in for the long haul. The cancer isn’t going anywhere but away, as it has been since I discovered I had it. And since I’m constantly being tested and scanned and checked, it’s not going to suddenly sneak up on me (again) and overtake me without my knowing.

All of this is disheartening news and at this point, I need to pull as many positives as I can out of this situation: at least he didn’t give me a number of how many more months I have left… at least the cancer isn’t anywhere else in my body and complicating things… at least I can continue to handle the meds like a rockstar… at least I have an incredible support system behind me, feeding me positive energy around the clock. I wish my body could work faster to get the tumors out quicker… but I’m doing my job, and staying on top of it. The situation might be a bit different in another year; it will be, because I want it to be.

Thanks for being here with me. Can you stay for some time longer?

17 thoughts on “Sticking around for a bit”

  1. Don’t EVER let a doctor put you on a timeline! They aren’t God.
    You just push and fight and live fully every day.
    We are all only granted the gift of one day at a time, anyway. 🙂 and you and your loves know how to live.
    Lots of positive vibes and love your way from the Arizona Bousquets.

  2. We are behind you each and every step of the way. You’ve got so much strength and support and you have the right attitude. Take this fight one day at a time and go by how you feel. Sending positive vibes your way.

    Love you brother, Brad

  3. Focusing on the positives is something we can do! Wha la…that was easy to do. We have to be patient, apparently. Which of course we are not good at. We are going to continue to keep the faith, send you as many positive vibes that we can, and know you will overcome! We will stay for as long as you want us. ❤️

  4. Can stay with ya 8000%. No question. Positive thoughts and vibes for as long as it takes. You continue to amaze me Eric. I’m sorry it’s gonna take longer then expected to get to the free of cancer side – but I sure as heck know you’re gonna get there!! Marci

  5. E,

    Keep positive man. I remember tailgating with you at UNC years ago (just you and me) and you had some rauch beer that tasted like sausage. You loved it. I hated it. Anyway you had a lot of positive vibes/words for me about my Mom and her fight with cervical C during our tailgate.

    I just want you to know that I loved that day even though my mind was elsewhere mostly (Hokies won!). You helped me take my mind off my own angst and worry and we had a blast.

    If there’s anything…anything I can do to repay the positive vibes, just let me know.

    Stay strong E!!! Hokies are strong!

  6. Absolutely! Your support gang is not going anywhere, except to continue to have your back….And your family’s backs, too. Good things take time, and are worth the wait! Your ‘support gang’ has no expiration date. You do the work, and we will be here to cheer you on. Love you, E

  7. I’m with Dena here, why no nano ? Jeez. We want nano !

    Giggles and inappropriate touching from France my friend.

  8. Hey Eric, definitely had you guys in my thoughts a lot yesterday and first thing this morning. We are all in this with you for the long haul and no one knows what the future brings for any of us. This just reminds us all to try and take a moment each crazy day to appreciate life and the people we love. Hope we can catch up this weekend! Love to hear about Vegas!! xoxo

  9. We are with you and keeping you in our thoughts as you continue on this journey. There are positives in this, and that you are able to see that is a testament to your strength and the strength of your support system. Keep fighting!

  10. Don’t worry, we are with you for as long as it takes. Another positive — they continue to make breakthroughs in cancer treatment, some of which are remarkable (I’m thinking about the immunology treatments.) So not only is the cancer going away, the tools to treat it just get better and better — more effective, with fewer side effects. So in this case, time is definitely your friend!

  11. What Chana said! We’ve got your back 100%, just let us know if you need anything at all! Stay strong man, I know you will and have no doubt you will get through this, you have an amazing support network! Love you bro!


  12. We are here for good, my friend. Can’t get rid of us. Cheering you on every step of the way!! You are amazing and we are sending you good energy at all times!

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