Met with my liver surgeon this morning and got both a better look at what’s ahead and a big ole dose of uncertainty as well as we move out of the chemo phase. While the recent CT scan showed more progress, it shows that the increased chemo has not shrunk the tumors quite as much as the initial round of chemo did; and while the one tumor has indeed moved off the main blood vessel going thru my liver, it’s still too close to it. And we compared the initial pre-treatment CT scan with the current scan, it was crazy to see just how much of my liver was cancerous before all this – my oncologist told me I had about 8-9 months left here on this planet, had I not sought treatment; now I believe him.
So I need to get a better scan, an MRI scan, which will provide a clearer picture and help with making a decision on what to do next: as my surgeon is not on an island professionally, he has a panel of like-minded surgeons off of which to bounce options once we get this new MRI done (April 4th).
One option might be surgery, if the new MRI shows there’s enough tumors that have shrunk to a manageable size. This will mean, to be safe, that there will be 2 procedures: one to redirect the blood vessels away from the larger part of the liver with most of the tumors and allow a smaller, save-able section (like a third of what I have now) to try and grow and support my system, in which case then there’ll be another procedure to take out most of the liver with the tumors in it without fear of liver failure. This obviously means, in the long-term, my days of enjoying my own homebrewed beer might be over, or at least heavily restricted. A year ago I would have met this news with unfathomable sadness….. but I’ve been slowly weaning myself off of alcohol pretty much since this whole thing started, so now I have priorities in place.
Second option is that there might be too many small tumors to operate; in which case I’ll go up to Memorial Sloan-Kettering in NY to have a small chemo (or radiation) pump installed in me that will target my liver exclusively in an attempt to shrink down the tumors without immediately having major surgery. Right now these are just 2 options; more might crop up as the MRI is reviewed.
So the journey continues and is fraught with uncertainty; that’s how cancer is, I’ve discovered. I can only focus on what I can do to help, which is continue to be positive and receptive of all the energy and prayers I can get. I’m stepping up my psionic warfare with this crap, so please forgive me if I look like a wild-eyed maniac if you happen to bump into me.
Also forgive my sense of humor about this; I have to keep laughing at this in order not to lose perspective. This isn’t my predicament but it’s still funny……… to me anyhow. I loves me some Monty Python, can’t help it.
I love you guys. Please keep me in your thoughts, I need them now more than ever. It’s all for the good of the country.