I’m getting asked a lot about how I’m feeling so I better update here!
Been a rough week or 2 for People Who Happen to Have Cancer, namely spinal, liver, and pancreatic. The list, unfortunately, doesn’t stop there: my oldest cousin Dave has also been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer while checking for blood clots. His prognosis isn’t good, and my healing energy goes out to him. I wish he was online but I haven’t heard from him since I saw him at my grandmother’s funeral in ’01. Pancreatic cancer is one of the nastiest ones, as there’s usually no symptoms while it’s growing to a point where it’s inoperable; so when people find it by looking at something else that’s wrong, it’s usually too late.
For me, it’s been 8 days since my chemo infusion and i’m just now feeling normal again. I’m really feeling that extra bag of medicine, and the cold weather isn’t helping my sensitivity, which has set in and not abating between chemo visits now. I’ve also noticed lately that my pulse rate has jumped a little, hovering between 90-100 bpm and I could really ‘feel’ it in my chest and arms, so after letting my oncologist know, I went into the clinic and got some fluids, as those are some symptoms of dehydration. I do feel better and my palpitations have gone away. Sitting here typing, at rest my pulse rate is 74 bpm, still high IMO. Since it didn’t used to be this way, I blame the extra chemo. That 1000 ml bag makes a good scapegoat.
Christine went in yesterday to check on some issues she’s been having with not sleeping well, and based on some lab tests she went in for a CT scan of her own. Needless to say I was extremely apprehensive with hearing the results, and you can imagine my immense relief when the scan resulted in no real issues. Having my first scan back in October confirming my own cancer, I couldn’t help but fear the worst for her first scan. I talk a good game when it comes to overcoming my own stuff, but to have my primary support center be afflicted with anything would have taken my well-being down a peg or 2. I need her healthy, as I need you to be as well. Take care of yourselves, please.
So despite the recently bad news, my spirits are unable to come down. On the contrary, I grit my teeth a little more now and make sure I don’t cut corners on anything – I still walk every day that I can, take the stairs at work (5 flights, 2 times daily), get 8 hours of quality sleep per night, and generally conduct normal duties. There is no time for grief. The disciplined healing continues here; I do it for David, Alan, and Dan, and my cousin Dave.